Whether you’re the parent or the friend of teenager who has a problem with drugs or alcohol, you may be concerned, confused, or uncertain about what may happen to them. It can be difficult to know what to say or how to help them, especially if you know very little about addiction. In the beginning, the most important thing to know is that your child or friend needs treatment as soon as possible. Most adults who suffer from addiction began having issues with addiction in adolescence, so early intervention is important.1
Learn About Teen Addiction
You may have many questions when trying to help a teenager with a drug or alcohol addiction. Perhaps you wonder what caused the addiction or want to know how to tell if someone truly has an addiction; maybe you’re trying to figure out what type of drugs they’re abusing.
There is no simple answer to why some people become addicted to drugs or alcohol and others do not—addiction is believed to result from a combination of biological, environmental, and social factors. Researchers have identified some of these causes that commonly contribute to addiction:1,2
- Genetics (accounts for 40–60% of the predisposition toward addiction development).
- Exposure to drugs in the person’s environment.
- Associating with peers who use drugs and alcohol.
- Parental drug use.
- A history of physical, emotional, or sexual abuse.
- Family conflict and discord.
- Mental illness in the person’s family.
- Impulsiveness.
- A history of emotional or academic problems.
When you think a teen abuses drugs or alcohol, you may question if you are overreacting or viewing their behavior as worse than it actually is. However, there are signs and symptoms that point to a strong likelihood that they are abusing or addicted to a substance, including:3
- Sudden changes in behavior (e.g., depression, anger, acting withdrawn, etc.).
- Changes in friends.
- Poor personal grooming.
- Declining grades.
- Truancy.
- Loss of interest in hobbies and activities.
- Changes in eating and sleeping patterns.
- Legal or school problems.
- Problems in family and peer relationships.
While teens abuse all types of substances, some are more popular than others. In a survey of high school seniors, 33% admitted to drinking alcohol in the previous month. The following percentage of seniors reported misusing these other substances in the previous year:4
Resist Enabling
It’s very common for family members or those close to an addicted person to enable their loved one. There are many reasons for this, all of which are rooted in care and concern, yet nonetheless end up prolonging the time that a person struggles with an active addiction by avoiding facing all the issues the substance abuse creates.
Some parents who themselves use drugs or alcohol may struggle to face their child’s addiction, choosing instead to ignore what they know to be the signs of substance abuse. They may also minimize the danger of a child’s drug or alcohol abuse by noting that their grades are still acceptable, or try to justify that at least their child did not drive while drinking excessively. Siblings may be aware of their brother or sister’s drug or alcohol addiction, but choose to help them keep the secret from a parent, fearing that they would get in trouble or retaliate against them for speaking about it.
It can be difficult for a parent to allow a teen to face the natural consequences of addiction. They may want to rescue them from legal charges or pressure their teen’s school to not suspend them for getting drunk at a school event. Other enabling behaviors include doing things for a child instead of allowing them to do it for themselves, such as a parent completing their drunk or high teenager’s homework for them. However, when a mom or dad ignores the symptoms of addiction or rescues a child from the consequences of it, they enable and prolong the child’s alcohol or drug addiction.
To help a teen recover from addiction, a parent needs to become aware of how they enable their child and stop engaging in these behaviors. Tips on how to avoid enabling include:5
- Do not give a teen money without monitoring it, since it may be used for drugs.
- Do not allow the child to use a car unsupervised.
- Do not let the child manipulate you into not getting treatment for them or into letting them stop treatment.
- Do not let the child avoid following rules around their drug use and other negative behaviors in an effort to avoid conflict.
- Do not take over the child’s responsibilities for school work, housework, and the like.
Know What to Say
When you believe your teen has a drug or alcohol addiction, talking to them can be difficult. Your teenager is likely to be defensive, in denial, or get angry when you tell them that you believe that they have a problem.
The National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) notes that highly confrontational interventions seldom work. NIDA suggests that if you approach your child about drug use, there are several steps to follow:6
