its taken me a while to write this review simply for the fact that Im pretty sure most of you are desperate to find your child/loved one the best care you can possibly find. First off do know that there is help. Some of you may say "yea but you havnt met my child yet!" Truth is none of us are unique and most of us have different stories but our endings are usually the same. Feeling broken and lost.
I certainly cant make any promises that your loved one will recover, but what I can do is give you some insight into my experience at CCR.
After a long back and forth intervention, (thank God the angel on my shoulder won that battle.), i was on my way to the airport. Part of me excited that although very distant, a spark lit the light at the end of my tunnel of addiction. I was mostly scared that i would be leaving my best friend. The only one that made me happy or even want to live....opiates. I knew very little about treatment as this was my first (and only) go at this "sober thing". On the plane I told myself that if I just do what they ask, and say what I think they want to hear this should go by fairly painless then I can come back to my "normal life" in NY.
I do pretty okay meeting people so I think socially I fit in pretty well with the other girls. I believe it was around the third nite. We were all in the living room watching a movie and something sparked an emotion in me about my boyfriend who had recently passed. I quietly slipped into my room and shut the door to have a "moment". Before i knew it, there were aprox. 6 girls comforting me telling me if I needed anything they were there for me. It was the first time in a long time I knew I was going to make real friends. Not friends that like me for what I can do for them, but friends from people who I quickly realized are just kind hearted, good people.
In the beginning, I did well. participated, helped others. I had a lot to say but it was either calling someone out, being sarcastic, or focusing on helping other girls as a means to avoid any focus on myslef. These behaviors were pointed out to me and instead of hearing what staff was trying to get through to me, I chose to ignore it. Ignoring things isnt easy for me. I have a habit of making it seem things dont bother me when inside im losing my mind. so I would lay awake and the more I thought about the issues that where being brought forth to me, i realized i had NO CLUE who I was. My whole life ive had to chemeleoinize to situations. so much to the point that I had no clue which me was really me. It was a very un-nerving feeling. Instead of bringing this to my therapist I continued to pretend nothing was up and what was wrong with them that they keep calling ME out?
After several warnings and chances, at aprox. 5.5 month of the 6 month program I was brought up into my therapist office and told I was being discharged. In their opinion my behavior was too much of a risk to the rest of the community. I sat there stone cold faced as a means to send an "I dont care" message. Inside i was balling and broken. what would have happened if I had let them see that side of me.....maybe that's all they wanted the whole time. Vulnerable, hurt, defeated, angry. Not one of them saw any of this.
I was brought to who I currently refer to as my guardian angels house and couldnt wait to tell her how "unfair it was especially compared to what other clients did". She asked if i was done and said "did you come here to change yourself or Canyon?" "Myself"...."Did you"..... "well yea but now that I think about it im starting to realize I robbed myself of a lot that was offered to me"....."well then its a good thing you're still here to start on those changes- not a lot of parents and families can say that. My own mother wouldnt talk to me until I could "show some respect for the people that helped save your life"
Ive been in Prescott almost 4 years now. Im one of the few left here. It hasnt been easy. My uncle was horrifically murdered, and his wife , my aunt, just passed from a long battle from ataxia. I stumbled but I was able to implement the tools these lovely people provided me with to get my life back on track. On track in time to show up for those three little girls who now have no parents. SOBER!!!! I currenlty have some time under my belt. My relationship with my family is better then ever.
I cant promise that if you send your loved one to CCR theyll stay sober. What I can promise is your loved one will be surrounded by not only the staff and clients, but a whole community of people who love nothing more then to give back what was so freely given to them. I can promise your loved one will be going to a highly elite treatment center with just as highly elite a staff. And for all of you who've spent countless sleepless nites wondering when the next time you'll see your loved one again, I can promise you, the more you encourage your loved one and support them- reminding them how important it is to maintain a strong program every day you'll have a good chance of getting your loved one back! I wish you all the best of luck on your journey!!
